I have a superpower. It isn't x-ray vision, or even eyes in the back of my head. Given enough adrenaline and toddler mayhem, I could probably leap just about anything in a single bound. But that isn't it, either. I'm discovering that I have the power to create a forcefield. And, mama, so do you.
All day long, I'm barraged by a million pressures of grown-up life.
Sometimes we're running late. Sometimes we'd need superhuman speed to make it before the whole event ends.
Sometimes kid-activity causes a spill. Sometimes it bursts the dam.
Sometimes my mama guilt pricks at my soul. Sometimes it's my kryptonite.
Sometimes people observing us from a distance raise their eyebrows. Sometimes they lower their voices.
Stresses of adulthood come at me every day from every direction, faster than speeding bullets. But I'm learning how to use my forcefield.
The smoke clears.
The soundtrack fades.
Action becomes slow motion.
The background loses focus and in clear, crisp, black and white I see into the eyes of my child. I see a soul. I see a relationship. I see eternity standing in my kitchen.
We might need to have a conversation about something. Perhaps changes or instruction are needed.
But in this moment, all that exists is my child. I respond to his need based on the intensity of his need, not based on the intensity of the pressures I'm holding back outside the forcefield.
The story doesn't always go like this. Some days my forcefield quivers under the pressure. Some days, I grab my children and use them as a human shield.
I blame them for my mistakes. I expose their mistakes to conceal my secret identity, my insecurities. I laugh about them or sigh in their direction in ways that wound and break.
I open my mouth and allow the barrage of pain to flow through me and onto my precious children. Those are not my proudest moments.
Mom of Steel
I'm not made of steel. Those bullets wound and wear me down. It isn't easy standing between my children and the world. But I'm made to do this.
I have power they don't have yet. Some day they'll be on the front line. They'll face the onslaught personally. But today, they have me. And in my own small, strong way, I am a Super Mom.